February 27th, 2008

goggles

И о березках

Кошмарная история от dmitry67: бывший наш чувак (ныне живущий в Штатах) решил съездить в Россию, и на обратном пути его тормознули в Шереметьево. Не выпустили обратно, потому как он якобы кому-то что-то был должен. Ну и далее по ссылке.

А не надо быть сталкером, вот что.
goggles

Землетрясение - шуточки

Комменты на форуме ВВС рулят:

Thought there was one [earthquake] yesterday, but it was the tax man knocking at the door.

We felt it. It was quite disturbing. I heard on the TV that the quake was caused by too many immigrants. They are making the UK lopsided.

My sister thought it was mice.

Never mind that there are usually thousands dead and injured when one of these things hits Asia, when we went downstairs this morning, one of my wellies had fallen over!

Me and the wife were fast asleep when the earthquake rudely awoke us. I thought an aeroplane was landing in our front garden. I couldn't believe the intensity of the whole experience - we quickly evacuated the family into our special quake bunker and awaited the all clear from the local seizemologist. The provisions I had stockpiled for such an event came in mighty handy.
goggles

Anti-Goblin

Было бы любопытно "перевести" какой-нибудь советский фильм на английский, полностью изменив его смысл. Например, ту же "Иронию судьбы" представить как фильм про наркоманов. Типа так:

Сцена с мамой:

- Mum, I haven't had a smoke in a week...
- Well, my son, it wouldn't do you any harm if you spent this Xmas stoned.
- Mum, you're the best! I'll bring you some hash.

Сцена в бане:

- Guys, I'm so wasted... what's in the bottle?
- Dunno... water, I guess.
- Pass it to me, man, I'm thirsty...

Сцена с евреем в аэропорту:

- Hey Moses, got any smoke?
- My name ain't Moses, and no, I ain't got no smoke for you, mister. So fuck off!
- OK, nigga... it's cool... I'll go and find it somewhere else, then...
- Yeah you do that, mister.

Сцена у Нади:

- Wake up, you bald fuck! Who the fuck are you? Where is my stash? I need a fix...
- I dunno... I guess I smoked it...
- What??? My dealer's coming, and he will kill us both!

Сцена с Ипполитом:

- Who's the bald fuck in your bed?
- Dunno... some pothead... said he'd smoked all my smack...
- Who do you take me for, an idiot? Fuck you, bitch!

Сцена с заливной рыбой:

- Do you like it?
- This is some good shit... and this is not such a good shit... in fact, it's real bad shit...

Сцена пения Нади с подружками:

- No woman no cry...
- Yeah, no woman no cry...

И так далее. Под конец Надя должна перевоспитаться и перейти с тяжелых наркотиков исключительно на траву. Последний диалог с мамой может звучать так:

- Hey old lady, are you holding?
- Sure, honey.