Thought there was one [earthquake] yesterday, but it was the tax man knocking at the door.
We felt it. It was quite disturbing. I heard on the TV that the quake was caused by too many immigrants. They are making the UK lopsided.
My sister thought it was mice.
Never mind that there are usually thousands dead and injured when one of these things hits Asia, when we went downstairs this morning, one of my wellies had fallen over!
Me and the wife were fast asleep when the earthquake rudely awoke us. I thought an aeroplane was landing in our front garden. I couldn't believe the intensity of the whole experience - we quickly evacuated the family into our special quake bunker and awaited the all clear from the local seizemologist. The provisions I had stockpiled for such an event came in mighty handy.